ARE THE ELITE TO SEXY FOR THIS LEAGUE ?
P 4 W 1 D 2 L 1 = 4 points
1-0- 2-2 - 2-3 - 2-2 ( cana mind the scores)
WELL WELL WELL what a week that was eh! AFC humping Cetlic 4 -2, Kaka's 100 million pound on / off saga, Tango Man touted as the next manager oh the Northern Elite, new manie in the white house & NEFC promoted to Div 3 !!!! None of these " Headlines" come close to the news MR SCOTTY MATHEWS aka one oh the fellas fae right said FRED made his debut last night for the now Legendary Northern Elite FC and boy oh boy he had the side lines DEEPLY DIPPY with his performance !
YES Sportsfans today's report is all about Scotty Mathews after months of chasing the signature of our very own Kaka the Chairman along with the help from the man oh many names finally managed to get the soon to be "40" year old along to the FITBA. I think it's only fair that his new nickname is KAKA. I hope you enjoy the pictures, attached.
Last night the Chairman was seen & heard singing " Only One Scotty Mathews" and jumping about like a dafty when he set eyes on his old friend stripped and ready for action, although there was a bit of muted feeling in the squad the Chairman was delighted to see that, at last, the Northern Elite FC are starting to see signs of the hard work that the board have been putting in over the last 3 months is starting to come through. Last night you could see that there is a new look to the NE playing staff that sets them up nicely for the future. It's always hard getting the right balance to a squad but perhaps now with the younger elite coming through mixed with the old guard the Club is in good hands...... You only have to look at the promotions they have achieved and the smiles on the players faces recently to see how far they have come.
So into Div 3 the Elite went for the first time in a while and they certainly raised a few eyebrows in game 1 and had the rest of the Div looking hard over their shoulders.
Game 1 - Up against a new look Real Bad they were well up for it, but the Elite performed magnificently and played some great fitba and had the guffies on the back foot and playing dirty, prompting the shout fae the Chairman you "DIRTY ENGLISH WANKER" oof you should have seen the refs coupan and surprise surprise the NE got nothing the rest of the game, I was half expecting to see the Chairman sent to the stands but hey ho he escaped because he was hiding behind the GRIFTER. Anyhoo the Elite went on to win this game 1-0 I think.
Game 2 - Up against Spillage Idiots - Same feeling to this game and these loons were up for it an ah, the Elite played some good fitba and walked of with a draw. Like game two it was niggly and things are heating up in Div 3.
Game 3 - Up against - Club 51 true to form our French bogey team did it again and walked off the park smiling after turning the elite over, in a game they should never have won.
Game 4 - Up against Seven Wanderers - Good match and these fellas were like in the first 2 games well up for it and to be fair a draw was probably a fair result.
DIV 3 Summary - The standard is higher and the opposition is bigger and fitter. The Elite are in good shape and with the best team picked for next week will be ok.
999 - Hard night for the 999 and apart from one good save in the first match I think he had a poor night, I'm sure by his own admission he would agree. 4 -10
Chopper - Magic performance from the Big Chopper, in every game he played a blinder, it was good to see Ryan back playing after an extended Christmas holiday and he never put a foot wrong. In the past he's been close to my Man oh the Match and last night he nailed it well done Chopper 10-10.
Count Normski - The wee fella loves playing for the Elite and he ran his heart oot last night, I think it's only fair to mention his fresh air lashes at an imaginary fitba but he's excused as he played through the pain barrier and the Elite always look a better team when he's in it. 9-10
Marble Man - Yeh ha oor very own unique conversationalist was back and it was fantastic to see him, it's not a problem that his team mates and sidelines have no idea what he's on aboot Marbler lets his feet do the talking, if it was not for Ryans performance he would have been MOM, great performance Ter and I hope your back next week. 9-10
Sid the Sexist - Another new face to the Elite and part of the youth policy which will stand the club in good stead for the future the Sid monster sporting his sexy lycra all in one played magic and scored a "lucky" goal. I like this player a lot and as time goes by he can only get better, he can play a bit and he's a cheeky ........ an ah sounds like an Elite player to me. Well done min 91/2 - 10
Mr.Greedy - Hard night for the Shando and I think his noodle is somewhere else just now but at times he did the easy stuff well and put his weight & arse into some good tackles, not sure if it was him or Beavis that scored one of the goals as they were locked together like a pair more suited to "strictly come duncin" end result goal. Well done min 7-10
BEAVIS - Now where do you start with this fella oor Beavis played some good fitba and showed heaps oh energy, like Sid he can only get better with games. I think he fancies his chances as the " Drfiters" apprentice and I've attached a T-shirt for him to put on on Thursday night. This fella has a long way to go to get close to some of the past masters i.e, Lazer, Pirie etc but I think the young pretender is up for the challenge, god help him but he's a welcome addition to the squad. 9-10 well done min.
KAKA - Yes last but by no means least, what a debut from the KAKA man 1 goal, 2 assists & covered 55 miles from the now legendary and ELITES OLDEST PLAYER ( you have nae idea how happy Satchmo is about this, what am I saying off course you do) well done Scotty, the inspiration for the headline the presence and influence of KAKA had this journalist asking is he too sexy for this league? Now after the first report of the season we predicted that the Elite would be playing "sexy fitba" and last night in places the team showed it, I put this down to Kaka and I cana wait for him to team up with his pal fae Hilton Y-Cardy. Nice one Scotty boy and welcome to the Elite 9 3/4 - 10
On the side,
Satchmo, Grifter, No9, ( Text Sex Ritchie magic to see him support the NE) and the Chairman, good crack on the sidelines and lots of encouragement handed out to the palyers. Subs were a bit strange and this need to be sorted oot. Next week the Chairman & Big G are on the line and I'm sure it will be better. Nae chance nae hearing the Chairman & nae chance nae seeing Big G .It's both encouraging and enjoyable to see more people taking an interest and supporting the club. At the end of the day it's all about having a laugh and as the Elite continues to grow and more and more people getting involved in the fitba and social scene ( big thanks to Drifter) I see 09 being well, to quote Vinny " EMOTIONAL"
So back to the ARGC for a shandy and 10 bowls oh chips, getting burned by the big Boonsen Burners and a giggle, good to see more of the Elite make an effort. The highs for me was Normskis face when he clocked more peole arrive, you could feel his pain at the thought oh sharing his 10 bowls oh Jockies, Yeatser would have loved it. AND when Beavis was asked just why is that you call Handsome DRFITER he replied eh is that nae his name, priceless !
Yeh Ha Beavis is mental and it cracked me up when he tried to justify getting his wires crossed by saying wait for this " I thought it was because of the way (GRIFTER)- DRIFTS through defences "f..k me I almost choked on my fried tatties. Some Man Beavis stick close to the big man on Thursday, but my money is on you being in a taxi by half time...... PS you need a T-shirt like this it's your only hope getting a trap when your oot with the Grifter & Cooper.......
I'm looking forward to next week already and the arrival of Minty & Piries......Onwards & Upwards,
Posted by dubainefc
at 12:01 AM