Yes it's true our wee pal Griftstix caught me bony last night and like him and his pal Yeatser like to do I will pull my pants down and explain what shook down. Last night I called Keefy for a yap and he asked " Did you read the Feathers Report" to which I replied " Aye ah did, and was a bit surprised to see the JAM content running thorough it, jesus its spooky as we were listening to the JAM on the way to the fitba" only to realise that as soon as I said it " that you wee bleep bleep bleep you had a wee wordie with the Feather before the kick aff and it was nae spooky at all" you can imagine Normski chuckled for a whiley and all I could hear was " I GOT YOU I GOT YOU" For the younger Elite that don't know who the JAM were I've attached a picture, they were a massive influence on the younger Chairman..... So onto the report and the fitba.
Great report Jeffo and I hope that Massey Fergie is taking notes and will include as much imagination and razzmatazz in his report writing. Like the fitba Massie it has to flow baby and have some giggles in it.
Here is the Chairman's take on the evening.
THEO II at long last the Elite have a replacement for THEO I and although you are a Celtic man I think its only fair that we call you THEO II. Great to see you getting involved & I hope you enjoyed your night. Solid stuff fae the Bubbler, shot stopping, distribution, organising was all fantastic, and with him in the stix I can see the Elite back where we belong in no time. 10-10
CHESNEY - Speechless for once in my life the One & Only is mental, great night for the Chessers, great goal, great running, great tackling, great shirt pulling & great at loosing yer MAN. The Elite love Chessers and i'm glad his wife is letting him oot to play. 10 - 10
TINNERS - OOF The Stork man played fantastico in the first 2 games but by game 3 it was like a scene oot oh Hansel & Gretel, Tinners was LOST but I'm letting you aff because you love the Elite and played magic in the first 2 games & YOU BLEW THE LEAGUE LAST NIGHT. 10-10
TORRY BATTERY - Big G is awesome and he's now El Capaitano, take note boys we are a better team with the HULK in it. SOLID performance fae the G-Man up till the last game when he shat his panties fae the boy on the wing !!!! 10-10 G - MAGICO
SATCHMO- Aye the Dizzy Man was back and full oh confidence and almost had us convinced he was ok until he was clean through on goal and blasted it miles over the bar, I think he had a funny turn so we will let him aff, Magic Satchmo you might be the oldest mate but your still my favourite. You are everything what this club is aboot - 10-10
CHOPPER - Same thing we say every 2nd week about Ryan fantastic and is it just me or are Ryan & Shando only turning up every second week ?? I hope know as we are always better when Ryano is playing, Great goal / pass to Shando and never put a foot wrong. 10-10
SHANDO - magic in the first game played more like the Shando we used to know and just got better as the night went on. Linked up & help up well and slotted home his chances when they came. Nae excuses next week 10-10
THE SPELLING MAN - Last but not least my wee Jamming pal, you tried yer heart oot min, scored a good goal BUT I'm at a loss how you failed to hear the shouts and the boy catching up to you when you were 1on1 with the keeper only for the loon to nip it aff yer taes for a corner.Great to see you back and the spelling of CLOWN will long stay with me.
Sidelines, Massie Fergie, Chairman & his loons, Mike Ritchie & The Feather - Great support and loads oh laughs boys, Thank you
NORTHERN ELITE FC - JOINT MOTM
Well done boys its always better when we win but its easier to win when we are having a laugh. FUN & POSSESSION was the name of the game on Tuesday night and long may it continue if it does then maybe the FAIRMERS SHOOGLY NAIL WILL BE RAMMED BACK IN.
So boys I'm going to Beat a Surrender and get ready for a round oh golf, have a great weekend and who know maybe some of us will get together for the fitba,
Live Long & Prosper.
MISSING ELITE GET BACK NEXT WEEK & TERRY NAE MARE JACKANORIES