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Northern Express
Wednesday, 1 April 2009
Too Many Early April Fool?s for the Elite ?

P 4 W 0 D 0 L 4 = 0 points  Game week 2

1-0,  3-0, 2-0, 1-0  

5 POINTS TOTAL, IS THIS ENOUGH TO STAY IN THE DIVISION?

Well then lads, we will get to the short bit about the football soon, but again a great effort from all the lads that showed up last night. It just wasn’t our night and nothing went our way. That was it. Nothing more nothing less.

It all started very promising when a new keeper arrived, well on time with Sid. He looked the part when he changed into the famous yellow jersey of the Elite and even posed for the camera even though Mad Vlad had no idea how to work it.

No.9 arrived unexpectedly (and early) to raise spirits even higher so there was a buzz around the pitch again which was great to see. Thankfully he had gotten rid of the god awful Pr(emark)ada  shorts he was wearing last week and was definitely more suitably dressed. However, I do think that Lionel had been taking little Bronski Beats’ advice when it comes to dressing up. Without any doubt it was his missus top he had on, as the V Neck should have actually had a tidy set of paps pushing through it, not heaps of chest hair….. sort it oot Lionel.

Bronski then revealed that he had sold his old watch to Bronski Beat MkII and this was confirmed when Jeffo arrived 5 minutes prior to KO. The Fairmer was quite tense at this point as he had went against his own ruling and left his team selection to the last minute, blaming the irregular weather conditions and the bad roads for the delay in picking the team THIS WEEK ONLY!

The banter was great and things were looking good. We even managed to find a new name for our new Goalie as it was pointed out that he bore more than a striking resemblance to a famous pop stars’ best mate. More of that later.

Anyway, first game kicked off against Stevie Summers Seven Wonders. Bubbles in goals was looking great. He was confident on the ball making plenty noise and talking to the players in front of him.

Seven Wonders then had a foray up field and tried a shot that Bubbles stopped well. Unfortunately he couldn’t hold it, and the ball spilled to an unmarked SW player who slotted it home. No probs, 1-0 down and the Elite just had the kick in the ass that they needed to get going.

Then disaster struck.

Whilst posing for another camera shot, our new goalie stuck his foot in the turf and went over his ankle. He hit the deck as if Y cardy had just run right through him (more of that later too). He was out for at least the night. Bubbles had burst. Bronski MkII then went in goal for the time it took Hancock to shut up and pull on the keepers top. Near the end of the game, Jeffo was changed out for Hancock in goals. Clean sheet for Jeffo.

Sid had a shot at goal during the game but we never really recovered from the loss of bubbles. Game ended uneventfully for the Elite and we lost 1-0.

Onward and upward was the call from the touchline and there was still a good spirit amongst the guys going into the second game against Dubai Wanderers.

This game was pretty much a blur for the Elite as we huffed and puffed a lot but really had very limited attacks at their goal. Unfortunately, DW had three attacks and scored from them all. Grifter was responding well to some positive comments from the touchline and was happy to oblige carrying out the instructions to the letter.

Game ended 3-0. Heads went down a little but on a whole we played ok and it was never a 3-0 game.

Into the third game really looking to pick up some points against Showtime. Unfortunately for the Elite, the ref who was the same guy Y Cardy had a go at last week, had other ideas.

The game was very even with the Elite pushing forward at every opportunity. A couple of hard tackles flew in and the ref aggravated the Elite midfield by awarding free kicks time after time against the Elite.

Y Cardy was getting extremely pissed with this and decided it was time to really test the ref. The ball came up to the half way line. It was controlled well by a Showtime player until he then hit the deck as if Y Cardy had just run through him. This time, that actually happened. Y Cardy run off with the ball as if nothing had happened and actually looked surprised when the ref called play back.

On the touchline, we were just surprised the Showtime player made it back up on his feet to be honest. Y Cardy’s bestest mate, the ref, then called him over and sin binned him for two minutes. Play raged on with Showtime using the extra man advantage well. The Elite sat back trying to keep a clean sheet.

Then Hancock was adjudged to have handled outside his box and Showtime were awarded a free kick on the edge of the area. The ref was winning no new mates from the Elite touchline as he continued to do his utmost to hand the game to Showtime. The resultant free kick was well worked and found its way into the back of the net for us to go 1-0 down. Y Cardy was then allowed back on the field and we pushed for an equalizer.

With everyone pushing forward, we were left exposed at the back and as so often happens we lost a second goal. Showtime made a sub late on who then had to come back off as he was wearing no shin pads and Simon grassed him up to the ref. Good work Simon.

Game ended with a few shouts aimed at the ref and disappointed to have lost another fairly even game. Final Score 2-0.

Into the last game against our old adversaries, the Danes (Fa are they again?). We couldn’t have ended with a harder game if we had tried, but that is how it goes. Y cardy had a good shot saved and then we gave away another silly free kick in a dangerous area. The Danes (Fa?) scored from the free kick and we were facing a fourth successive defeat. Not much else from this game and when the final whistle blew it seemed more of a relief than anything else.

As per the previous report I did, I don’t like signaling out anyone in particular as everyone played their part and it was a great effort from everyone involved.

Disappointing outcome to a night that promised so much. Good points though were that the team spirit was yet again immense. Quodos to Jeffo, Hancock, Beavis, Grifter, Satchmo, Sid, Chris, Yeatser, and Lee.

Good support again from the touchlines from Mad Vlad, Dillon(sp?) and Simon. It probably isn’t enough to keep us in the 2nd Division but luck just deserted us last night.

The main thing for me was that there were still even a few smiles as we trudged to the car park which was good to see.

Onwards and upwards for next week lads! Mon the Elite!

PS This was Jimmy’s reaction as I told him the results last night……..obviously the tips he passed onto the fairmer didn’t quite work. Guess I can give the tombola back to the missus for her bingo…


Posted by dubainefc at 11:39 PM

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